A mix of emotions doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. In fact I made a pie chart to show you…
You see, last week I quit my job. That’s it. Goodbye steady paycheck. Hello, Cara freelancing and running her own business.
As I type that sentence my mind swings between two of the most common emotions I’ve experienced over the past couple months – extreme excitement and fear. Yes, this is something I have planned and hoped to do for many months so I am thrilled that it’s finally happening. But then the practical part of my mind chimes in, this isn’t going to be all roses and sweatpants. This is going to be a lot of work. And you know what? I could fail.
It’s not just failing that I’m worried about; it’s questions like, what if I’m jeopardizing our future? There will be no employee matched retirement accounts or benefits package when I’m sitting in my attic office all day. It’s like I’m okay to fail if it only affects me, but I’m terrified of my failure negatively affecting Joe or our future children (Stop, don’t get excited. We’re not having a baby).
What keeps me going when the practical side of my brain kicks in is knowing that this decision is not about money or retirement accounts. This decision is about happiness. And I would rather be happy than paid, secure and unhappy. I don’t want to go into all the details, that’s really not the point of the post, so I’ll just say that I’ve had a hard time finding a work environment that fits my personality. And the idea of happiness brings me back full circle to extreme excitement.
I’m excited to finally try my own thing. I’m excited to learn more about myself and what a business based on my values looks like. I’m excited to have the time and space to think about and work through all the ideas in my head. I AM EXCITED!
I know it will take time to figure all this out. And you’re probably wondering – what is she going to do up in that attic all day? This what I know so far: I want to create everyday art. Whether that’s a website, a photograph, or a logo there is aesthetic beauty in it all. I’ll be building custom WordPress websites and developing my photography business. I’ve also found that I really enjoy working with brands and figuring out the aesthetic and personality that make up a consistent and unified brand.
I must take one moment before I end this post to say thank you to my husband Joe. He has been a consistant source of support and encouragement throughout this whole process, and I would not be in the position I am today without him. So thank you Joe for being my cheerleader, supporter and best friend. <3
I’m planning to use this site to keep you all updated as things progress. If you’d like to follow along put your email address in that pretty purple box at the top on the screen, or feel free to snoop around my website cararufenacht.com. AND if I start posting ridiculous cats videos on Facebook every 5 minutes someone come over and hang out with me.
Your website is LOVELY. Nice job stepping out of your comfort zone. 🙂 Excited for your next steps, and all of your blog updates.
Proud of you!
[…] week I announced that I quit my job to freelance and build my own business, yep, remember that. I’d like to tell you that I’ve been widely successful in the past week and a half, and […]
Yay! This is something I think about on a daily basis. Congratulations on taking the big leap! I can’t wait to hear about your adventures.
Hooray!
Welcome to the club! It’s wonderful (though sometimes lonely) to be self-employed! Call me before you post any cat videos. I’ll talk you back from the “Post” button. 🙂
Thanks Erica! I’ll call before posting. 🙂
Congrats and I understand
Thanks Si!