Planning a wedding is stressful, this is not a new theory. You’re planning what seems like the biggest event of your lifetime and everyone wants to know how it’s going. The expectation to have the most fabulous wedding is everywhere. It doesn’t matter if you’re hosting a fairtale ball or an organic wedding on the farm, everything must be perfectly aligned with your style.
This puts a lot of stress on you, your fiancé AND your relationship. I am a firm believer that when you’re wedding planning it’s important to put conscious effort into NOT talking about your wedding every now and then. Set aside time to just be together – talking about color pallets, succulents, and bridal party gifts is not allowed. This is a cupcake free conversation!
I specifically remember Joe telling me when I would go into wedding planning overdrive,
“Cara: what matters is that at the end of the day we’re going to be married. We’re going to be married whether or not our guests sit on white plastic folding chairs, wooden chairs, or bales of straw.”
It is so important to take a step back and recalibrate, to remember the reason your planning this party in the first place. I’m not sure wedding planning is ever stress-free, but I hope it is at least fun and enjoyable for the couples I work with.
One way I encourage my couples to recalibrate is with a gift that they can use together, and it is based on something Joe and I enjoy immensely: drinking coffee!
We drink a lot of coffee. To be fair, we are not drinking the same coffee. His is black, french-pressed and might knock you over, while mine is mostly steamed milk with a little espresso and a teaspoon of sugar. Our drinks are completely different, but what is important is that we spent the time drinking them together.
I give my couples a set of handmade ceramic mugs (made by Joe), some coffee or tea (there is a reason this question is included on my contact form) and also a half pint of homemade jam (made by yours truly of course).
My hope is that they’ll have a wedding free conversation over a cup of coffee or tea in their new mugs. I hope it reminds them to step back and remember what really matters – that at the end of day they’re going to be married.
And there is nothing more important than that.